...Unmopey people dun complain 'bout the holidays an' 'ow lonely they are.

All I'm askin' is fer one blind date fer ya, no expectations from either side. Could be good, ya never know. I think both ya an 'e could need it.

An' 'fore ya get all suspicious on me wonderin' why I'm bein' so uncharacteristically 'elpful, 1. It ain't 'zactly uncharacteristically o' me, I do good shit all the time. An' 2. I feel shitty 'bout the 'urt I've caused people so maybe I can try an' brighten up some people's days.